The Inner Formation Waypoint - Tending to Your Inner Life
There are times in every believer's life when he or she has a sense of spiritual floundering. I know this feeling well, asking myself, “What in the world am I doing in ministry when my relationship with God is so weak?” or “I’m struggling so much that I might drown, and I’m supposed to be helping others!” I could tell many stories about my inner struggles, as I’m sure you could too. In 2015, I was leading our staff care and development team in our mission, and things were going well outwardly. The team had grown. We were having an impact on the organization. But, I was running on fumes. My relationship with God was dry, and I honestly didn’t invest in trying to understand that. I just kept pushing on. My emotions and anger were getting the best of me. I tried many things to ease the tensions and stresses of leadership by working harder, binging Netflix, or finding other ways to calm my inner world rather than attending to my relationship with God or my emotional well-being. Thankfully, though it was painful, I hit a wall, and God got my attention.
My inner life was a wreck. Fortunately, I had some wise guides in my life to help me do triage and get me the help I needed. I found a counselor who helped me see what was happening inside me and address my needs. I also started meeting with a spiritual mentor to address my dry spiritual life. It sounds easy to say that, but this work was uncomfortable and painful, which I (and most of us) try to avoid at all costs. An essential part of paying attention to our inner life is addressing the “dark side” issues that emerge in us. I needed courage and humility to allow the Spirit to confront and transform these dark places. I needed a variety of people to help me on the recovery journey and then continue it well.
Each of us needs to make deliberate choices about the awareness of our inner lives–character formation, emotional health, and attunement to the Holy Spirit in everyday life. Rich Villodas states, “interior examination is a way of life that considers the realities of our inner worlds for the sake of our own flourishing and the call to love well.”
Are you aware of wrestling with God’s grace to transform you into an increasingly humble, patient, kind, gentle, honest, and trusting person? Perhaps you're resisting it or are frustrated by the process. Herb Lamp reminds us, “The Bible focuses more on a person’s inner life than on his or her titles and skills.”
Where do you have some sense of floundering in your inner life? Take a moment to ask Askuide you in your inner formation work and lead you to flourish.
We like to leave you with a song at the end of each blog post, so today, we leave you with Sowers Song by Andrew Peterson to stimulate your reflection and formation.
If you want to read further on forming your inner life, these are the books I quoted.
